This kinda sounds like a poem
One: Buy condoms. Buy them and keep them with you at all times, and use them before you are asked to use them. And use them every time. The peace of mind you allow your partner will free her to be vulnerable with you, and that, my son, is exactly what sex is about. Condoms are sexy. In fact, call buying condoms foreplay.
(Footnote: If you are too embarrassed to buy condoms, you are not ready to have sex.)
Two: Kissing is not merely foreplay. Spend entire evenings making out on the couch while fully clothed. Believe me, dry-humping rocks.
Three: Sex is not just about friction. It’s about emotion. Stop trying to find her clitoris and find her heart. Because then she’ll help you find her clitoris.
Four: If you really wanna know how to please a woman, ask her how she masturbates. Then do that. A lot. If she claims she doesn’t masturbate, offer to take her shopping for a vibrator so you can both learn the vocabulary of her body together.
Five: Don’t put anything in her butthole you wouldn’t want in your own.
(Footnote: Try a pinky finger, it’s kinda awesome.)
Six: When you go down on her—and you will go down on her, and if you are my son, you will be amazing at it—tell her how good she tastes. Stop in the middle and kiss her deeply so she knows how good she tastes. Do the same when she goes down on you.
Seven: A simple Google search will yield 1,327 euphemisms for male masturbation, yet only 23 for female masturbation. If guys spent less time jacking off and more time jilling off, this world would be a happier place.
Eight: Everything you need to know about the importance of the clitoris is in the movie Star Wars. You are Luke Skywalker piloting your penis-shaped X-Wing Fighter deep inside her trench. Remember: seventy percent of all Death Stars cannot be blown up through penetration of the trench alone. It must be through focused contact with that little exhaust port at the top of the trench. Otherwise, any explosions you experience will be merely Hollywood special effects.
Nine: Just because you come doesn’t mean she has, so don’t you dare come before her. Focus completely on your partner. Don’t worry about gettin’ yours, you’re a guy. You always get yours. Your job is to make sure she’s gettin’ hers.
Ten: If sex with your partner lasts no longer than this poem, you are not making love. You are masturbating with her body instead of your hand. Shame on you. Go back to step one. You’ve got a lot of learning to do.
Big Poppa E., “How To Make Love” (via wetforest)
#WHEN IT COMES TO PORTRAYAL OF A HEALTHY LOVELY RELATIONSHIP IN AN ANIMATED FEATURE, PEOPLE SHOULD WATCH HTTYD2 AND PAY GOOD ATTENTION TO HOW BEAUTIFULLY DREAMWORKS DISPLAYS A NATURAL COUPLE AND LEARN THAT NORMAL COUPLE BODY LANGUAGE AND LITTLE GLANCES AND TOUCHES AND SHOWING HOW INTIMATE AND COMFORTABLE THEY ARE AROUND EACH OTHER AND HOW THEY HAVE PERSONAL CONVERSATIONS ABOUT FUTURE FAR OUTWEIGHS KISSING AND EYE-SCREWING AND SINGING SILLY SONGS AND CONSTANTLY TRYING TO FORCE THEIR LOVE STORY ON THE AUDIENCE BY CLICHE SCENES AND DIALOGUES AND TRYING WAY TOO HARD TO MAKE THE COUPLE BELIEVABLE EVEN THOUGH THEY HARDLY KNOW EACH OTHER PLEASE GIVE US MORE ASTRID AND HICCUP
# this was possibly my favorite thing about this movie # the relationship was so genuine # you could tell they loved each other and were attracted to each other without it being slammed over our heads the entire movie # astrid and hiccup # httyd2
laverne cox is well on her way to becoming one of the most important, inspiring feminist icons of our time don’t even look at me if you think differently.
There’s this shitty thing that happens when you learn about the reality of racism, sexism and misogyny. You start to hear it from the mouths of your parents, grandparents, friends and siblings and you can’t ignore it anymore but you’ll see how many of them will ignore you when you speak out about it.
Timeline of Nancy Drew in history
Choices I shouldn’t have to make: do I look forward to discourage him and pretend I don’t see him, or look back to make sure he’s stopped following me and my friend?
- Bisexual person in a relationship with someone of a different sex: I'm not straight, I'm bisexual
- Gay community: you're only saying that because you want to be a part of the Gay Club, you don't belong with us, you're basically just a straight person anyway
- Bisexual person in a relationship with someone of the same sex: I'm not gay I'm bisexual
- Gay community: why do you feel the need to clarify that? You just want to be one of the straight people, you just want to reassure them that you're Not That Gay, you don't belong with us
Wow wow wow… This cover is INSANELY good. Way better than the original.